Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Devil Went Down to Georgia / He Was Looking For a-- WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?!

I watch anime porn sometimes. Ohhhh noooo! I used to try to view it with some kind of seriousness, but that's become impossible in recent years. I don't know if the porn is getting more hilarious, or my sense of humor is becoming more twisted. Perhaps it's a combination of the two.

Last night I had the opportunity to watch the seminal classic Requiem, a heartwarming and bawdy tale about a man and his sexy fiddle. Yeah. The basic rundown of the slowly developing (for porno) plot, is that the violin instructor at an all girls school has made a pact with the devil for some reason. In exchange for whatever the fuck the devil fiddle is giving him, he must use its eerie powers to seduce young women. Aside from the possible danger to his employment status, I really don't see why this is such an awful deal. Maybe he's possessed by the devil fiddle. I forget. It doesn't matter. What matters is how bizarre and hilarious the whole concept is.

The devil fiddle has clearly influenced its poor host's fashion sensibilities. In pre-fiddle flashbacks, he isn't covered in buckles. Oh, and the fiddle is covered in belts, because that's just so good for acoustic quality. Really, I don't know what the Hell is up with that. He doesn't even where a whole new outfit. He just straps belts all over his foppy, grey suit.

Unfortunately, the funniest scene is the first scene. It really is like performing after Elvis Presley; you're just boned because the best act of the night has had at the audience. Any scenes following, no matter how ridiculous, haven't a chance of amusing me as much as the scene I have dubbed "Fiddlin' Blowjob!"

Really, it's hard for more elements to clash and tumble together so hilariously as this. A man, a woman, a golden throne, several belts, a violin, some nice drapes, and a dick.

Jesus Christ.

1 comment:

A BUTTON said...

Lemme tell ya'll a little story 'bout a man named Fiddle Dicksuck